When you're trying to get something done, be it a project for school or work, or you're in a relationship, the simplest and most fundamental way to make sure that everything gets sorted out neatly is through communication.  Talk to your group members, teachers, professors, partner about what needs to get done, what's being done, and by whom because when one party says, "Don't worry about it, I have this covered" but never actually tells you or anyone involved what it is that they are doing or completely disconnects from the group from that point onward without so much as a brief status report so that everyone knows where the other stands, everyone but that party is unaware of the goings on.  They don't know if they should be working on, say, the lone party's part of the project on top of their own because, perhaps, that lone party is not actually pulling their weight, or they could be doing something completely irrelevant.  Alternatively, the lone party could be doing exactly what he/she should be or said they would do, but nobody knows, and so, everyone else takes charge to do the part they believe the lone party is supposed to be doing just in case only to find out in the end that the lone party has everything under control.

A simple bit of communication can save a lot of work and stress for everyone involved.  The lone party may think that everything is fine, but without proper communication with the other members, this one person can cause a great deal of unnecessary work and stress to build up on the rest of the group which is unfair as it could have been easily avoided.  Additionally, the lone party may think that what the other involved parties did was unnecessary and potentially take offense towards the reasoning they had behind it.

Good communication is paradoxically the simplest and most difficult thing to do whether it is between group project members, partners, or immediate family members.  We are afraid that we might offend or insult someone due to a simple misinterpretation in our tone or wording, while it is also through communication that we can try to clear up any such things and forgive one another.  We often feel that the easiest way to not offend someone and to avoid misinterpretation by avoiding proper communication surrounding a particular topic altogether (be it about a project or an issue within a relationship). 

Unfortunately, this is one of our biggest downfalls as human beings as we rely on a communication system that is vague and can be misinterpreted in many different ways.  A single sentence can appear to have multiple meanings when the speaker only intended one.  Where our complex, but well-intentioned languages and feelings fail, most other animals excel at because they don't hold back for fear of insulting.  They tell each other in clear and direct ways what it is they want.  If a wolf, for example, were pestering another, the second would surely growl a warning.  Should the first wolf not heed this warning, he would receive a warning bite telling the him that if he continues, the situation will escalate.  Of  course, it is incredibly anthropocentric to claim that our languages and feelings are more complex than that of any other animal in the world as they do have intricate languages and feelings of their own, but if we were to learn from their example and actually say what we mean and mean what we say, life as a human would be much simpler.  We would not have to skirt around each other's feelings.  In fact,  we would be respecting each other's feelings more as we wouldn't be assuming that everyone is so delicate that even the smallest mention of something that bothers us will offend.

All in all, I think we have much to learn from the other animals around us when it comes to communication.  We should be more straight-forward instead of trying to spare each other's feelings because in doing so, we are actually creating people who are more easily offended by smaller and smaller things.  And finally, as an animal whose world is supposedly built on communication, we really suck at it.

Hey everyone,

So, I know I had a summer reading list of about four books which shouldn't have been that difficult to complete, but for some reason, my brain refused to focus on any of the books I wanted to finish by the end of the summer.  The denser books, anyway.  It's pretty unfortunate, but I can't say that it's been all bad.  I've still been reading.  Just, not quite what I wanted to. 

I ended up reading something much lighter and junkier.  And what have I been reading?  Something from the author of the Vampire Diaries series.  That's right, I've been reading Night World.  I'm still on the first book, and I can't say it's the best kind of read, but it is what I need right now: something junky and airy.  I guess my mind doesn't feel quite so rested from the denser reads of the school year still.  It is odd, though, because I've been so bothered by the writing that I've begun annotating and editing the book with a pencil which is something I never would have done before.  But, now, after I've finished school marking up this book feels less like a huge deal.  I don't think it will carry over to other, less junky books, though.

I really wish I could get back to the denser stuff.  I want to finish Fahrenheit 451.  I was so far through it and, now, I need to start it over because it's been so long since I last picked it up.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to it soon.

We'll see how it goes.  I'll keep you guys updated on the reading.

Until next time,
Dusk

Hey guys,

Sorry about the wait for this post.  It's been pretty hectic.

So, last you heard from me, I was still in Singapore.  I left Singapore for about five days to visit Thailand and didn't bring my computer with me.  For the first two days of Thailand, Boyfriend and I didn't do a whole lot.  We checked in to our hotel in Phuket and explored the nearby areas and I have to say, the staff at our hotel were wonderful and the people in the spots we explored were incredibly friendly.

It might not sound like it to some, but we really felt like we took advantage of those two days we had alone before his family came to join us on the third day.  We got some well-needed rest and travelling with fewer people makes co-ordinating and decision-making much easier.  I'm hoping that Boyfriend and I end up being able to travel together a bit more, especially since parents are telling us that we'll never be able to travel so much again once we start working.  Honestly, I hope that's not true for us.  I have had so much fun seeing different parts of the world with him and just walking around and discovering different foods and cultures.  It feels so freeing.

After Thailand, we went back to Singapore for a few more days before we flew home.  We've been home for about a month now and things haven't slowed down much, in all honesty.  We rested for a week before going to my grandparents' place to help them paint around the house and trim their hedges and, boy, did that tire us out.  At this point in time, I think we're both just looking for some quiet time to rest and relax, but we still need to look for work and Boyfriend wants to move out of where he is currently staying.  Hopefully, he finds a place soon for the sake of his sanity.

That's about all for now in terms of what's been going on. 

Until next time,
Dusk

The future is scary and that's okay.

Boyfriend and I have been talking a bit recently about what our plans for the future are in terms of careers as, firstly, while we are living with his mom in Singapore, it's brought up quite often anyway, and secondly, it is something we'd have to think about soon since we just received our undergraduate degrees.

Right now, it seems like we're going to take roughly a year out of school and decide whether or not we want to go back or if we can make it without.  Personally, I think he'll go back.  He tells me he was never much of a school guy, but he likes to learn and I can definitely see him excelling in whichever path he chooses.  He's a pretty versatile guy when it comes to the options he's given himself.

For me, I'm not sure if I want to return to school to get a Master's degree or even a PhD, but the more we talk about it, the more it seems a bit enticing.  I've never been one to feel like writing a dissertation or anything formal would be something I'd want to do, but some times when I look at what I've studied, or when I read something, it's the only way I can work with it.  I still prefer to write fiction, but it's been so long since I've properly sat down to write any fiction outside of a dialogue that I don't know if I could do it.  I would need to sit down and read more fiction first to pick my style back up again, I think.

I like the idea of living off my writing whether it be on my blog, on Youtube (writing scripts for myself to discuss different topics), publishing various forms of fiction, or even using my writing as a form of discussion like many critical thinkers.  For most of these things, I wouldn't need any formal graduate degree to do them, but for the last one especially, it would be helpful because it would give my arguments that much more heft.  I would be able to not only say what I have to say and potentially have people retort, but also be recognised as a person who knows what she's talking about in a formal situation should it come to that.  Perhaps my writing would be able to be used in classrooms and university or college lectures that way.  Who knows?

In the mean time, I'm trying to figure out what I could get into for at least this coming year.  Perhaps work in a book shop or something to pass the time and make a little money to support myself and hopefully move out.  Whatever happens, I'm glad that it looks like  Boyfriend and I will be going through it together and supporting each other.  It's something that we'd both like and I definitely feel like I need.  I like being able to discuss my current foggy future with someone who understands where I am in my head and in my life.  He knows that I'm unsure of which direction I want to go, but he also knows that I want to be able to be self reliant and he's supporting me every step of the way.  If it weren't for him I don't know where I'd be right now.  I wouldn't have even considered a Master's or any other form of graduate degree.  I know my mom wants me to get one, but that doesn't feel so much as if it's for me as it does for her peace of mind because it appears to be the minimum requirement for anything now-a-days.

I'm just glad that I have someone with whom I can venture through life now.  A romantic relationship is certainly not something everyone needs at this point in time, or for some, ever, but for me, this works.  I have the kind of support I need and, in turn, I am able to support him and we are able to bounce ideas about our future with one another without outside influence because we listen to each other and what the other wants and needs.  For all of you out there going through this time in life, you do it your way.  My way is by no means any model towards which you need to strive.  What works for me might not necessarily work for you and vice versa.  But no matter what happens, I hope things turn out well for you.

Best of luck to everyone.

Dusk

I've never been good at small talk.  It just isn't something I do.

If you try to talk to me, it'll seem like I don't really want to talk.  What I don't want is to go into idle prattle because I don't know how to handle or navigate it.  It's devoid of meaning and I mentally can not grasp how it works or how to continue the conversation from what seems to me to be dead end questions.  I never intend to sound uncaring or unapproachable, I literally just don't know how to turn the little statements or questions into more than just that.  If I'm asked a question with a simple answer, that's normally what I give it.

I do feel bad and I don't always know what to say, but it happens.  I have no intentions of being rude if I've just met you and this is the direction in which our conversation seems to be headed it's just me being uncomfortable.  If you want to start an actual discussion, it's easiest for me if you just jump into it.  Ask me if I've read a book and if I haven't tell me about it.  Tell me what you liked, what you didn't.  I might come up with something similar as well as a suggestion for you to look at in the future and likewise.  Maybe a film or something else that interests you.  For me to take part, I need more to work with than "How are you"s and "what's new?"

I do realise that this may be difficult for the person with whom I am trying to converse as well as it is for myself, but I honestly don't know how to make small talk work.  It's one of society's weird mannerisms that I will never understand and perhaps never be able to get to work in my favour.  Even when I was taking the final test for my driver's licence, I never asked such small questions to try to keep myself calm.  I asked the examiner why he does what he does and why he chose or ended up with it.  It was something that I could dig more into, something that I could get more information from to create more discussion.  In turn, he would be able to ask me what I want to do, am doing, what my motivations are and I could ask him similar inquiries.  Topics like these, I can work with.  If you simply ask me what I'm doing in school and if I want to be a teacher, my answers will be short and sweet.  I get the same questions all the time and I hate them.  I never know what to do or say.  It's awful.

This, I think, is why I'm not the best suited for things like customer service or human resources work.  It's not something I can care enough about to make it sound good.  ESPECIALLY with customer service situations where I will need to run off to retrieve something for a customer because I will repeat the same, "Hi, how are you?  Did you find everything okay?" routine to people I've already droned it out to without realising until after the fact.

I don't know where this puts me in terms of which jobs I'd be good for, but I can tell you that I've done pretty well so far in conversing with my professors and peers about different academic, homework-related, and peer-related topics.  Whether it means I should strive for something like academia or writing in general, I don't know, but I think I might do okay in them given different topics to work with.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is small talk confuses me.  It confounds me.  I don't know what to do and I flounder when people try to approach me with it.  I don't know if I'll ever know what to do with it and I'm sorry to anyone who tries to use it with me.

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't updated on the trip much lately, but what can I say?  What I do might not sound as interesting as it was for me to experience.  I'm a bit of a little details sort of person.  I appreciate a lot of little moments that don't relay as well as they felt at the time.

Anyway, yesterday, Boyfriend and I went and did something a bit more touristy than usual.  After seeing where he went to school a couple days before, we decided to go to Sentosa.  Yup.  The place that you, apparently, "must" go to while you're in Singapore otherwise you haven't gone to Singapore.  Personally, I've never understood when people say things like that because, clearly, I am in Singapore, so to tell me otherwise would be ridiculous as I know where I am and what I'm doing and you can't tell me what it is that I'm experiencing.

That aside, we had a nice time walking along the harbour and Siloso beach front in the evening.  It's crazy, you can actually see the sun setting here.  It moves much faster here than it does at home.  At first, I thought I was imagining it, but when Boyfriend said that it could be seen, I was amazed.  The sunlight is interesting here.  You would think that being near the equator, you would have more hours of sunlight, but instead, it's similar to the amount of sunlight I get at home in the autumn just before winter.  The sun rises at 7:00AM and sets at 7:00PM everyday without fail.  I have no idea why it works that way, but it does.

We had a real nice time there.  I've never been to a salt water beach before and I do love to be in the water.  Though, I wasn't particularly prepared for that, so I just waded around the shallows.  I'll be honest, I was expecting the water to be cooler than it was and was certainly surprised when it was so much warmer than I was preparing myself for.

Boyfriend spent the last few minutes of the fading sunlight to draw the shoreline.  Me, on the other hand, I just love to see him draw.  Something about how focused and intense he looks is alluring to me.  I just really like to see artists at work, what can I say?  It's like watching magic happen.  Unfortunately, because of the quickly falling sun, Boyfriend had some troubles figuring out the pressure he should put on his new brushpen for different strokes.  I still think his drawing looks fine.  Especially considering the fact that he didn't have a brushpen prior to this.

When we finally got back home, we curled up and watched a film I had watched in school called "Waking Life".  Considering the time of day I had originally watched, it was pretty overwhelming in terms of information and questions, not to mention the art styles involved.  It definitely makes more sense the second time around, but it is still a lot of information to take in.  Boyfriend says it might be better if they just tackled one question raised and stick to it as the main premise.  Considering what the film is about, he's right.  It gives the feeling that the director is trying to cover more information than he is able in the time given.  I still can't say it's a bad film, though.  It raises interesting thoughts and questions that I feel are important for people to think about and don't often do if they do at all.

I'm not super sure what's in store for today or the rest of the week, but that's the fun of not planning.  You just figure it out as you go.  Besides, a few days of rest here and there are always good to keep.  Don't want to burn yourself out on vacation, right?

Until next time,
Dusk

Two posts in one day?  What???

Yep.

I'm just making this post to say that if you like to look at creative pieces and reading comics, then you might want to check out Boyfriend's webcomic called "Heartland" on which he works with great focus.  Updates are a little slow because life has been quite demanding, but in it, you not only get an interesting story building, but you also get to see the development of his drawing skills.  Here is the link to that: https://heartlandcomics.wordpress.com/

He also just set up a Facebook page which showcases some of his non-comic related work.  Some are just doodles or practice work, but they are quite nice as well.  If you like his work and are interested in getting some commission work from him, he is very much willing to do so.  Here is the link to that: https://www.facebook.com/KPDraws/

Thanks for your time and for sticking around.  There will be more stories, thoughts, and updates to come, so stay tuned!

Dusk