My uncle looking at us eat some fish that we caught: Ewww, they have heads!!!

My thoughts: Ewww, you have a head!  Even worse!  It's full of ignorance to the point that it's overflowing!  I don't want to hear it!  Get it away!

~~~

Tonight, if he plans to make any such comment although we most likely won't have anything with a head still attached, I plan to point at the salad and say, "Ewww, it's full of heads!"

"How is taking a bra off liberating?"

"Here, let me explain it to you...Imagine your balls in super skinny jeans...oh wait, you don't have any.  Nevermind then.  Toodles!"

My uncle bragging to my dad about how cool my uncle's camera is.

Dad: We have the same camera

Uncle: ...My lens is bigger.

My thoughts: Yeah, but you can't use it properly.

Dude, I totally know what you're trying to say with that stupid lens of yours.  Both of our sentences have double entendres and I totally mean both implications in my sentence.

See this soup here? I am devouring all of your hopes and dreams simply by eating what is in this soup. It is a very flavourful soup. You have many fascinating hopes and dreams. They are quite tasty.

Now, see this other soup? In it is your ability to accomplish these hopes and dreams of yours. It’s quite bland.

Hey, guys.

I think, because I'm sarcastic just SO often, I'm going to post it all on here to see what you guys think.  Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't.  But it would definitely get a lot off my chest.  Hope you enjoy. =]

Dusk