Hey guys,

I know it seems morbid, but I'm just...confused, for lack of a better term.  Maybe a little curious as well.

You see, I don't understand when people say things like, "She has a sick fascination with death."  I don't understand why this fascination that some people have is "sick," or "disturbing."  Some people are just curious about what comes after.  If anything, I think it's more natural to think of things like death.

Why?  Well, partially because it's always there.  There's no escaping death.  It's a natural part of life.  The only reason I can think people might describe it as "sick" is because it's not something everybody thinks about.  It's not..."normal."  The thing with people is, we don't like to acknowledge death because we're afraid of it.  We don't actually know what happens once we die.  So, we try to prolong our existence as long as we can and just not think about death.

It's sad to say, but that's probably the reason why we are struck dumb by death when it happens to someone we know.  Why it scares us.  Simply because we don't know what happens.

People like to learn about everything.  They like to figure out how things work, how things go.  But, it actually takes the beauty out of a lot of things.  It takes the beauty out of a sunset, or the blooming of a flower, or even just seeing a creature go about doing its thing.

Of course, this also includes death.  There is a strange beauty in it.  Whether people acknowledge it or not, there is a beauty in it despite how frightening it may be.  The idea of leaving this world to find peace.  Religious or not, there is a sort of morbid peace in the whole idea.  The thought of no more pain, no more suffering.  Just empty bliss.

What I think is, although we're afraid of death, if we acknowledge it, it might actually be a bit less frightening.  It won't get rid of the fear completely.  But, I think it's sort of like a roller coaster.  That first massive drop is coming, and you know it.  You're scared, but that's only the fear of anticipation.  You know it's coming and you're scared anyway.  It'll come and pass.  Everything will come and pass.  That's how life works.

Oh, well.  Let me know what you guys think.

Until next time,
Dusk

I've never wanted to become a teacher.  Never. 

My parents, for some reason can see me becoming one in the future, but I can't.  Mostly because of how they always put teachers down.  They do admit that there are good teachers out there that care about their students and what not.  But, you know what?  I can't talk in front of people, I can't teach well, and I don't want to be one of those people that gets lumped into a generalization so that I can be told that I'm useless.  That I do nothing, and that I complain all the time about not being paid enough.

Maybe I wouldn't be one of those teachers, but who knows?  Either way, I don't want to be one.  The big problem is, a lot of people don't always end up doing what they want to, and I don't even know what I want to do.

If I end up being a teacher, whether I'm looked down on or not, I would want to be a philosophy teacher.  I'd tell the kids that life is pointless.  That, society is pointless.  Getting a job is pointless.  But, most of all, I'd tell them that school is pointless.  It's a big, pointless, brainwashing facility where they make kids think "inside the box."  They don't allow much freedom in thought or exploration.  What is being learned at school is pointless.  I'd only encourage them to come to class to learn how to think.  That's what the kids need.  They need to know how to think critically.  It's true.

They need to be able to recognise that they don't need all this cyclic, pointless work.  People are too focused on material things.  That's the whole reason why society runs the way it does.  They tell you that you want something, that you love it, and finally, that you need it.  But, you don't.  You don't, but they won't let you see it that way.  No.  That's the whole reason for people having jobs.  So, they can have money to buy these things that they don't need.  Even if we did want something, why do we need to pay for it?  Why do we need money?  Now, I'm not a thief, I don't steal.  I do pay for things.  But, I don't see a reason for it.

We pay to get food, when, in the past, we would have been able to get the food ourselves.  We'd be hunting and eating like all the other creatures out there.  We've been sucked into this hyperreality, and there's almost no way out of it unless we can think against it.  Think outside of it.

I'm not encouraging people to be thieves or to go around vandalizing things or skip school and not to bother getting a job no matter how much it sounds like I am.  All that I want, is to have people realise that they might not need what they think they do, what society thinks they do and programmed them to think they do. 

I simply want people to be able to think for themselves instead of having something like the government telling them what to think.

You know, I wish we didn't have to live in a world where insecurities come from the very things we cannot control.  I mean, everyone makes each other uncomfortable because of where they were born, how they're raised, the way they look, how they talk, all sorts of ridiculous reasons.

What's the point of making someone else feel uncomfortable?  They could do the same to you.  When we get all self conscious, we colour our hair, cake our faces in make-up, change the way we dress.  Why?  If it's not you, why bother?  The worst part is that most people look so much nicer without changing themselves like that and they don't realise it.

Other animals on the earth couldn't care less, and they don't do the weird things that we do.  If they don't care, why should we? 

We are the strangest creatures.  We take the long, unnecessary way to get things like food with this whole money thing...We don't just hunt, eat, and sleep like any other creature.   We work ourselves to death on unneeded things to get food and shelter...why?  Why do we make things unnecessary and complicated for ourselves?

We really are strange animals.

I don't understand our species.

Dusk

Okay, one more post for today, because I have class soon.  Anyway, it's been snowing like mad here.  It's like Mother Nature was having a rage!...or a party with fluffy things...which I kind of like better, but the wind made it feel a lot more like she was raging at us petty humans.
 
The grass is officially covered in snow, I am pleased.  There really hasn't been much snow here all winter, so it's actually been kind of depressing for me since it's winter and, as I do every year, I've been waiting for snow.  There were some days where I was extremely excited to see snow, but then it would go and rain the day after and melt it all away...I mean, like, really?!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!  Do you KNOW how many of us love the snow here and wait to play in it every year???

So, just to show you guys how it's been looking today, here are a couple of pictures from my window, ignore the vinegar bottle, I just have lack of space for keeping things.

I know I said that I would post this before class, but being the technological failure that I am, I spent a good amount of time trying to just get those picture from my phone onto the computer...

Side note, on the way to class, I totally slipped...I must have found a metal sheet or something and stepped on it, because I've been very careful about walking on those, but the snow covered EVERYTHING, so I couldn't see it at all.  EPIC FAILLLLL!!! I have a nice bump on my knee now.  But back to what we were talking about...the snow cleared up as time passed, it's still snowing out, but it's gone from seriously crazy to nice and sunny with snow flakes gently coming down...until you walk outside and they smack you in the face, that is.  But other than that, it is quite nice out.

A few more pictures to show you how nice it's gotten outside since earlier this afternoon.

 And one more to show you the nice winter night. =]

Well, that'll be all for today. 

You guys will see me again sometime in the near future, I'm sure. =]

Dusk