Some Times...

Some times, I feel insecure.
Some times, I feel inadequate.

Some times, people make me feel insecure.
Some times, people make me feel inadequate.

I've spent five years in university learning who I am, accepting who I am.  Learning what I'm good at, learning to accept it.  I've become more secure in myself because of it, but some times...some times, something seeps through.  A word here.  A comment there.  It's silly, really.  To have spent so long learning about and developing my character, creating my reality, only to let others tear it down.  To become secure in oneself should make it easier to let such things slide off one's back, but it's not so easy.

I am porous like a sponge.

I take in what I see and what I hear.  Some times, I take in things that I shouldn't.

It festers.

It grows like an infection.

It tears me apart from the inside out and I don't know how to handle it.  I crumble and I fall.  My reality--for the moment--is lost.  I don't know who I am, what I'm good at.

I've lost all that I am.

I need to gather my pieces.  Put myself back together.

                                  anew.
                        grow
                    I
             bit,
       by
Bit

I gather myself back up.  I learn.  I strengthen.

A new piece appears in my puzzle, I don't know where it goes yet.  In time, I will learn and it will fit.  It will become a part of my armour.  A weapon I can use to shield myself against those who try to tear me down and to fight back.  I just have to learn where it goes, what it does, how it can help me.

My reality will be whole again.  I will become me.

A greater,
stronger
me.