Hey all,

So, I'll be graduating university this year and I have no idea what I want to do post-grad in terms of a job, but I have nothing in line yet.  Not in terms of something being in my field, anyway.  But before that starts, I'm going to be flying half way around the world to meet a friend and to explore.

You see, I've never been outside of my time zone before and even within my time zone, I haven't really gone on any adventures without my family.  So, this summer, I'll be embarking on a journey with Boyfriend and learning about the places he's seen and the things he's done before we met.  This is probably the coolest part about it for me.  Why?  Well, we officially met through my high school friends who took him in as one of our own when he was the new kid in school.  So, he already knows just about all of my friends and family, as well as what I do, but I have yet to know what life was like for him before meeting me.  And believe me, the curiosity is there.  As a result, I'm going to be flying half way around the world to explore other places and, perhaps, learn more about myself in the process.  And I'm going to be taking you guys with me.  You'll be hearing about what I'm up to and what I've learned; it'll be great.

In the mean time, I'm anxiously trying to gather the appropriate things and information before school ends and before the summer begins.  Definitely the less exciting bit, if you ask me, though it doesn't feel as calm as one might think.  I still have plenty of time, but I have a good amount of stuff to mull through, so things will be a little crazy in the next few months.

Aside from that, I hope you're all doing well and I'll update you on how things are going.

Until next time,
Dusk

Hi everyone,

I would say that I'm sorry for having not posted in the past while, but it would undermine what I have to say next.  So, I will not.

To start off your existential crisis, you must understand that you--yes, you--are but a mere speck in this vast universe that we live in.  Smaller than a speck in fact.  You and I, and everyone, every being you know and love is more insignificant to the universe than an amoeba is to us humans.  We can do all that we want to leave a big impact on the world and our universe, but we will ultimately be forgotten no matter what we do, what we write, what we discover.  It is just how the world goes.  We do not matter to the universe and there is nothing you can do about that.

In addition to this heaviness you now feel, you also have to realise that you are completely alone in this suffering.  You are the only one who will understand what you're feeling, right now, and who will understand this existential crisis the way that you do.  You are also the only one who will understand any other sort of suffering that you experience.  If you lost a loved one, went through a bad break up, or are suffering from depression, you are dealing with it, feeling it, and understanding it completely differently from anyone else who has lost a loved one, gone through a bad break up, or what have you.  Others can always try to sympathize with you and you with them, but no matter how many "I know how you feel" statements are made, you can never truly understand how that person feels and they can never truly understand how you feel.  We are all ultimately alone.  This also means that we all die alone even when surrounded by family and friends.  Why?  Because they don't know what you're experiencing.  There is no way for them to actually experience that with you.  So, yes.  You are--we all are--in the end, alone.

Sound depressing and slightly worrisome?  Good.  That's how these things are.

I'll check in on you guys in a while and don't go doing anything drastic because of the way these words made you feel.  There is an importance to this.

Until next time,
Dusk

Child, you'd best learn to assume responsibility.
The world does not,
Will not
Bend to your every whim.
You will not get everything that you want,
Will want,
And ever wanted.

Things will not be done for you.

You must learn that it is not others that should be taking the blame for your faults.

You must stop acting like the world owes you everything.

The world owes you nothing.

If anything,
You owe the world
Your life.

You came in to this world and the world provided
But the world can just as easily take you away.

Appreciate what you have instead of taking advantage of it.
Appreciate who you have instead of taking advantage of them.

Be kind to others
You won't have anyone if you stay as you are.

Don't expect people to help you.
Don't expect people to do things for you.
Don't expect.

You will be disappointed.

The world will not care.

I hope you learn something when you leave for school.
I don't just mean your classes, but life lessons too.
Why?
Because if you don't,
You will have a very miserable and lonely life.

Good luck.

You will need it.

Hello, everyone!

I apologize for my lack of posts throughout the school year.  As you may have noticed by my previous post, I did intend to post something.  Unfortunately, something must have come up for me to have left a post like that hanging.  Normally, I would have ranted until I've said all I had to say instead of leaving it there.

Anyway, I am back.  I am back from school for the summer, I am back at work, I am back to looking for more or better work, and I am looking for time to relax.  In the meantime, I will be trying to set up a mini series on my blog similar to what my boyfriend has done.  I will be starting "An Introduction to Your Own Existential Crisis" series.  I don't expect it to be too long or short and there will likely be some other posts in between so we will not be losing the flavour that this blog already has.

I'm sorry for the lull.  But, I am back to do more and say more.  So let's get this ball rolling again, shall we?

I appreciate all of you who have waited for my posts.  I will definitely be setting up some more to come.

Ciao for now,
Dusk

So, it seems I've written this back at the end of February.  It is quite a bit late and I do still think that the situation is ridiculous.  As it has been four months, I do forget what I was intending to write next, but it does not take away from how strongly I feel about the subject.

All right, guys.  I'm going to get a little bit ranty today.

So, an acquaintance of mine recently commented on a post on Facebook about this article.  I suggest that you read it before we move on.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/02/arizona-confronting-awkward-realization-that-gay-people-have-money-buy-stuff.html

Now that you've read it, all I can say is that I don't understand how anyone can possibly be so dense as to not think that gay people do not buy things.  Even more so, the argument "they didn't tell us" is such a poor argument that I don't even need to explain it.  It's so juvenile. 

Gay people are just as human as straight people, bisexual people, trans* people, and what have you.

So, I was listening to Fall Out Boy's "The Mighty Fall" and I thought that Pat Stump's enunciation got better with this new album of theirs.  Until he sang, "So I'll lock you up inside/And swallow/Swallow the key."  When I heard that, I ended up hearing it as "Swallow the cheese."  Told my boyfriend, and...well...all I can say is, all Hell broke loose.

Me: NO!  DON'T LET HIM SWALLOW THE CHEESE!  WE NEED THAT CHEESE!  ALSO!  HE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT!  WE WILL DIE OF HIS STENCH IN THIS CAR!

Boyfriend: WHAT IF HE KNOWS LACTOKINESIS?!

Me:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Well...if he knows it, I don't think he'd really care because no one is threatening to kill him with this cheese unless he wants to commit suicide.

-sudden realization hits me-

Me: WHAT IF THEY'RE TRYING TO GET INFORMATION OUT OF HIM AND HE'S DOING IT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?!...why would they even provide an out or a weapon for him though?  Unless...unless they didn't know and they had it in a sandwich or on pizza and he lactokinesisized it to his mouth so he could eat it and kill himself.

At this point, I think my boyfriend just got really entertained with my freaking out and serious consideration of the situation. 

I've decided that I really need to write more when I'm tired because I come up with the best things and I give thought to some of the strangest things and situations that it's almost ridiculous and amazing at the same time.

Hope you all enjoyed my little update on my crazy mind.  Also, if you don't know what lactokinesis is, you definitely must watch "Misfits."

Until next time!
Dusk

Hi, Guys!

So, I had a three hour class tonight and had a cappuccino before it.  I guess I finished it just in time for the caffeine to hit my very exhausted body and mind just before class started.  Ended up freaking out all over Facebook about it because I couldn't find any other way to let all my energy out. 

The best part of this is that I had bought my friend a brownie and she came in with a hot chocolate.  So we had a nice hyper kid next to a nice little caffeine high kid.  We tried so hard not to burst out giggling in the middle of class. 

Surprisingly, the sugar and caffeine lasted us for the entire three hours.  So, we went looking for a Wal-Mart afterwards because she needed to pick something up, but we ended up wandering for a bit because we got lost.  But, it wasn't too bad.  We actually found our way eventually.

I probably should have written this while I was still buzzing with energy, but you know what, maybe next time. =P

See you around guys, I really ought to get to bed.

Good night, all!

Dusk