Hey, guys;

Remember that one uncle I have that I don't particularly like?  Well, had dinner with Mom's side of the family and, of course, he was there.  I didn't really talk to him at all besides, "Bye," at the end of everything. 

I was sitting at the table talking to (I think it was) Mom saying how I just knew I'd gain weight this month because of exams and then Christmas right after.  I mean, what with all the food, sleep, and studying, then coming home to MORE FOOD!  He just happened to be at the table getting food at the time (the table is too small for everyone to sit at so we just kind of scatter to wherever we feel) when I was tlaking about this and all he said was, "Oh wah."  If I wasn't across the table from him, at a family dinner, and if he said that to one of my friends, I think I would have decked him.  I mean, GOD!  How insensitive can he be?

My aunt and uncle who live at this house are also sort of strict with the dog, I guess they don't want her to be fat, I don't know.  They don't usually feed the dog scraps or bones from the table.  She was also getting in the way at the time and they were scolding her.  The same uncle, again, says, "This is Canada.  We treat dogs like family here.  Go home."  All I could think was, "Annndddd what is your background, huh?  You aren't native to this place.  Besides, WHAT is "Canadian"?  It's freaking MULTICULTURAL!  That means there are DIFFERENT NATIONALITIES HERE!  There is no ONE thing that makes us all Canadian.  We just live here.  Why don't YOU go home?!" 

He's so damned annoying and good at ruining everything.  I still don't know how my aunt ended up with him.  If my boyfriend were like that, I would have punched him so hard he'd vomit and left him for good.  Luckily for me, and my boyfriend, he's a real good guy.  He's quite alright being on equal terms and he's not a tick about me "being out of the kitchen" as I've seen so much of the Internet being morons about.  This is one of my favourite traits about him.  That, and he's completely okay with having a girlfriend that is pretty aggressive.  I mean, when I'm really frustrated, I need to hit something.  No, I don't hit him, if that's what you're thinking.  I used to be in TKD and I really want to go back because 1.  I am rather out of shape now, and 2.  I need to let my frustrations out. 

Anyway, besides my uncle, the dinner and my family were all fantastic.  I love them all and wish my other aunt and uncle and their kids could have been there.  I miss them so much and I hope they have a fantastic holiday.

Happy holidays to everyone and I wish you all the best!

Until next time,
Dusk

Hi guys!

Just finished my fourth exam this morning.  Bright and early.  I'm so glad I have time between this one and my last one.  I miss sleep.  I don't even know if I got six hours of sleep last night. 

My mom came for a visit today.  We had lunch, when she left she told me to take a nap.  She said I looked tired.  Boy, do I feel it.  Took the rest of today as a day off from studying because, let's face it, four straight days of studying subjects for almost back-to-back exams is pretty killer.  Also, Mom told me to. =P  The last exam is the one that I'm also most worried about, so I need to at least let my brain rest a day so that I can get back into the studying. 

Dad's instructed me to go to bed as he knows I'm tired and I just can't handle things anymore.  He's distracted me with Amazon for a good number of hours.  I was thinking about what to get for Boyfriend and he suggested that I see if Amazon has what I want.  Well, not exactly, but I think I got him something that he might like just as much, or even more.  I'm so excited to get the stuff now.  I really hope I'll be able to sleep with all this excitement going on in my head...well, at least it isn't as much stress and panic as it was for the past few days.

Anyway, I'll be off.  Hope you're all doing well.

Until next time,
Dusk

Hey guys,

I know it seems morbid, but I'm just...confused, for lack of a better term.  Maybe a little curious as well.

You see, I don't understand when people say things like, "She has a sick fascination with death."  I don't understand why this fascination that some people have is "sick," or "disturbing."  Some people are just curious about what comes after.  If anything, I think it's more natural to think of things like death.

Why?  Well, partially because it's always there.  There's no escaping death.  It's a natural part of life.  The only reason I can think people might describe it as "sick" is because it's not something everybody thinks about.  It's not..."normal."  The thing with people is, we don't like to acknowledge death because we're afraid of it.  We don't actually know what happens once we die.  So, we try to prolong our existence as long as we can and just not think about death.

It's sad to say, but that's probably the reason why we are struck dumb by death when it happens to someone we know.  Why it scares us.  Simply because we don't know what happens.

People like to learn about everything.  They like to figure out how things work, how things go.  But, it actually takes the beauty out of a lot of things.  It takes the beauty out of a sunset, or the blooming of a flower, or even just seeing a creature go about doing its thing.

Of course, this also includes death.  There is a strange beauty in it.  Whether people acknowledge it or not, there is a beauty in it despite how frightening it may be.  The idea of leaving this world to find peace.  Religious or not, there is a sort of morbid peace in the whole idea.  The thought of no more pain, no more suffering.  Just empty bliss.

What I think is, although we're afraid of death, if we acknowledge it, it might actually be a bit less frightening.  It won't get rid of the fear completely.  But, I think it's sort of like a roller coaster.  That first massive drop is coming, and you know it.  You're scared, but that's only the fear of anticipation.  You know it's coming and you're scared anyway.  It'll come and pass.  Everything will come and pass.  That's how life works.

Oh, well.  Let me know what you guys think.

Until next time,
Dusk

I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry I don't fit in.
I'm sorry I don't like what you do.
I'm sorry I don't conform.

I'm sorry that I care about words.
I'm sorry that I care about grammar, punctuation, quotations

I'm sorry that I have thoughts.
I'm sorry that my thoughts are my own.
I'm sorry that you don't agree with them.

I'm sorry that you don't understand.
I'm sorry that you don't like it.
I don't either
Sometimes.

I'm sorry for the things out of my control.
I'm sorry for the things that are.

I'm sorry you don't like me the way I am.
I'm sorry you don't accept it.
I'm sorry I won't change.
I'm sorry that I'm stubborn.

But, most of all
I am sorry
For being me.

That feeling
Of never being just right.
Never good enough
No.
Never good enough for the people around you.
The people around me.

I'm not smart enough
Not fast enough
Not pretty enough
Not normal enough.

My clothes are too dark.
My hair is too flat.
I don't wear enough makeup.
I don't wear any makeup.

I'm not good at anything
I'm not good at everything.

My mind is too different.
My thoughts are too strange.
My ideas are too abnormal.

I'm not normal.
What is normal?
Nobody is normal.

I am myself.
I am what I want today
I'll be what I want tomorrow
I will do what I want
To be what I want.

I am myself.
I am
Me.

Hey all,

So, just yesterday, I finished my first exam of the season.  I must say, it was much easier than I thought it would be.  You see, my prof sent out an email the night before telling us that he wanted us to know all of the authors we have studied in the second half of term and be able to identify them from their works alone.  Of course, I had a major panic.  I was angry and scared because how on earth was I supposed to identify twelve different authors from their work alone PLUS write two essays and work on short answer questions all over the span of two hours?

Turns out that he provided us with three short answer questions in which we were to choose two from, the same for the essays, and he provided three sonnets out of the billion works that we studied to identify.  THREE and he told us to know them ALL!  What?!

Yes, I was angered by that too.  But, at least I didn't just look at the exam and cry the moment I did.  I was expecting it to be so much worse and I ended up finishing twenty five minutes before our time was up.

That definitely made me feel better about finals in general.  I just hope all the others will be that easy.

Anyway, good luck to everyone dealing with finals and I'll write to you guys again either soon, or after all of my finals are done.  Either way, good luck and keep being awesome!

Until next time,
Dusk

Hi, Gerard;

Lately, I've been rather frustrated with a number of people in my life.  A strange thing has been happening though.  Your voice has been stuck in my head and it comes in stronger every time I get angrier.  Your haunting "remember me" echoes in my mind.  I keep thinking it's your song in my head, but I feel like it's more than that when it starts to come in stronger and louder.

I feel like you are trying to tell me something.  I know it's not very likely that you'll see this letter, but I'd really like to know.  What is it that you're trying to tell me, Gerard?  Are you telling me not to let the people bother me and hold me back?  Is that it?  I know a lot of people are going to tell me that.  I feel like there's more you want to tell me than just that. 

I really want to know what's going on.  What is it that you want me to know?  What message are you trying to send me?

Wishing I knew what was going on,
Dusk

Hello All,

Today, I thought I would share with you one of the experiences I've had with sexist jerks.

Last night, I went out after skating with my best friend and the guy that is supposed to be the skate patrol.  I say, "supposed to be" because I find that he is so lacking in his job that it is sad and ridiculous that the town even hired him. 

You see, as skate patrol, he is supposed to be authoritative and, basically, be the safety regulator of the ice.  But, he neither wears the jacket allowing people to see him, nor is authoritative enough to have people listen to him.  Last night proved that he does not know what he's to be doing nor is he worthy of such a job.  It may not be the best paying job, but to be a safety regulator, you would expect that the town would hire somebody with 1. basic CPR and First Aid skills and 2. knows how to at least handle a crowd, I mean, that's what this entire job is about.

Somebody fell and blacked out on the ice last night, and he did not even know enough to clear the crowd off of the ice for when the paramedics were to show.  Instead, my dad, best friend, and I took over that.  My best friend is a life guard and the moment he saw that she was down, he went into full life guard mode.  Sure, the skate patrol person called the paramedics, but he could have should have cleared the crowd off of the ice.  Even more-so, he should know how to handle these sort of situations in general.

After skating, skate patrol guy, my best friend, and I went to Starbucks.  At some point in time, this guy says, and looks straight at me as he does so, "Girls always never know what they want."  For a moment, I stop to think back and try to find a time where I didn't know what I wanted.  Sure, there have been a few times, but everyone goes through that.  Then, being the tick that he is, he says, "See?  You don't know what you want."

How the Hell does he know that?  He doesn't know what's going on in my head.  I should have retaliated.  I should have said, "I know what I want.  I want to punch you for that comment and walk away.  I want to tell you that you suck at your job.  I want to tell you that ever since I've seen you 'take over' as skate patrol, I knew you wouldn't be good for the job.  I wanted to take over your job since I've seen your smug, dirty little face set foot on the ice as skate patrol.  I would too, if I didn't go to school in another city.  But, most of all, I know that I do NOT want you to reproduce and pass on that disgusting mindset of yours to your potential offspring."

I also should have thrown a punch at him and missed, let him go with a warning.  Should have told him, "Next time, I will not miss.  You know why?  Because I will want to hit you even more the next time around.  Do not cross me again.  Do you understand?"  Of course, my best friend and this know-it-all jerk haven't seen me this angry.  I don't expect much of any sort of reaction from him.  I would repeat myself, "I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"  When he answers, I would tell him, "That is why nobody listens to you on the ice," and walk away.  I don't know if my friend would follow me.  If he would tell that lowly turd that he went too far.  But, I would hope that he would.

I'm sorry about the crazy rant-style post today.  I just really needed to get that off my chest.  I also really need to go back to TKD to let the stress and anger out. 

I thank you, folks, for listening.  I hope next time I post will not be because I'm angry.

I hope you're all doing better than I am at the moment.

Until next time,
Dusk

Hey guys,

Sorry about not writing much recently.  School and all, you know.  I've also been feeling a tad empty lately.  Not a hungry empty though, more along the lines of emotionally empty.  I wouldn't quite say apathetic though.  It just sort of feels like there's a hole in me and I can't fill it.  It hurts emotionally and it makes me very sad. 

It's been around a month and a half since I last saw Boyfriend for Thanksgiving.  I'll only be able to see him for two to three days before Christmas, then he's flying off to see his family for the Christmas break.  I really hope that none of you think poorly of him for this.  It's been even longer since he's seen his family and I do feel that it's important for him to see them too.  Whenever we're together (in the same city), I feel like I monopolize a lot of his time and I think it's nice that he sees his family.  In fact, I feel like we should have lunch or dinner with his family again or something.  It was fun the last time, so why not do it again?  They're amazing people even if they weren't his immediate family.

Regardless, I'm glad he gets to see his family again.  The week or two of his seeing his family must feel almost like the few days that we get to spend together between weeks to months of separation because of school.  Especially since they are further away.  I'm sure he appreciates what time he has with them every time he gets to see them.  It must be hard being so far from them.  They sound like amazing people and I'd love to actually meet them one day. 

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well.

Until next time,
Dusk

Hey all,

So, as I suppose you all know, Hurricane Sandy came through these parts not long ago.  It wasn't nearly as bad as a lot of people had it, but it was still very cold, windy, and rainy.  Although, I'm not sure if this is a result of that or a result of everybody I know being sick, I have a cold.  It is getting better though.  It's not as bad as it could have been, and it's not like I've been bedridden or anything.

It did leave me trying to hold back a coughing fit in my three hour class last night though.  Instead of one massive coughing fit, I ended up shaking or convulsing...not really sure which word best describes it right now...in class when I wasn't going through a bout of coughing.  Fun things!

Anyway, I guess this cold could have been much worse.  I mean, I could be dying of some terminal illness.  So I am quite fortunate that this is just a small cold that hasn't rendered me immobile or something.  I have been going to all of my classes despite it. 

Oh, well.  Hope I get over it soon.

Hope you're all well!

Until next time,
Dusk

It's a great start to the day, folks.

Got up early to wind battering the windows, the trees, everything. 

Having halfheartedly gotten out of bed to wash up, I turned on the computer only to find that classes are not cancelled today despite the winds up to 25 km/h and gusts almost double that speed at 45 km/h.

Today is not my day, nor is it going to be.  I'm exhausted and I still have a midterm to think about as well as a midterm assignment. 

Took the bus to campus rather than walked, figured it'd be safer.  Still ended up pretty chilled to the bone.  Whatever, I'm on campus, in a building and safe.  That's all that matters, right?

Well, hopefully I can get some rest in somewhere today. 

Until next time,
Dusk

Hey guys,

So, for the entirety of the day I have been exhausted, but my fingers were itching to have a proper dance across the keyboard nonetheless.  Only one problem though, I had no idea how to write what I wanted to write about. 

You see, I'd recently read some fanfiction about two of my favourite Youtubers, but I never felt that the people had depicted them right at all.  I wanted to write my own just to set things straight in my mind, but I have no idea how to start this story.  It both frustrates me and makes me sad to have a story in mind but not know how to kick it off.  It really sucks.

I've spent just about the entire day taking notes in class and filling in Facebook notes just to try to busy my fingers a bit.  No luck, unfortunately.  My fingers still wanted to fly across the keys with amazing things coming out of it.  But, nope.  No such luck.  Oh well.

One of these days, when I don't have to worry about midterms and assignments, I will write a story or continue one of the others that I had already started.  I really hope I can get back into writing and bring my writing back to the level it used to be at.  I kind of suck now and I have no idea why.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you all know what's been going on.  Sorry about the lack of posts recently.  Midterms and things have been all over me. @_@  Also, been getting a bit more into Pokemon again.  Fun times. =]

Hope you're all doing well!

Until next time!
Dusk

I've never wanted to become a teacher.  Never. 

My parents, for some reason can see me becoming one in the future, but I can't.  Mostly because of how they always put teachers down.  They do admit that there are good teachers out there that care about their students and what not.  But, you know what?  I can't talk in front of people, I can't teach well, and I don't want to be one of those people that gets lumped into a generalization so that I can be told that I'm useless.  That I do nothing, and that I complain all the time about not being paid enough.

Maybe I wouldn't be one of those teachers, but who knows?  Either way, I don't want to be one.  The big problem is, a lot of people don't always end up doing what they want to, and I don't even know what I want to do.

If I end up being a teacher, whether I'm looked down on or not, I would want to be a philosophy teacher.  I'd tell the kids that life is pointless.  That, society is pointless.  Getting a job is pointless.  But, most of all, I'd tell them that school is pointless.  It's a big, pointless, brainwashing facility where they make kids think "inside the box."  They don't allow much freedom in thought or exploration.  What is being learned at school is pointless.  I'd only encourage them to come to class to learn how to think.  That's what the kids need.  They need to know how to think critically.  It's true.

They need to be able to recognise that they don't need all this cyclic, pointless work.  People are too focused on material things.  That's the whole reason why society runs the way it does.  They tell you that you want something, that you love it, and finally, that you need it.  But, you don't.  You don't, but they won't let you see it that way.  No.  That's the whole reason for people having jobs.  So, they can have money to buy these things that they don't need.  Even if we did want something, why do we need to pay for it?  Why do we need money?  Now, I'm not a thief, I don't steal.  I do pay for things.  But, I don't see a reason for it.

We pay to get food, when, in the past, we would have been able to get the food ourselves.  We'd be hunting and eating like all the other creatures out there.  We've been sucked into this hyperreality, and there's almost no way out of it unless we can think against it.  Think outside of it.

I'm not encouraging people to be thieves or to go around vandalizing things or skip school and not to bother getting a job no matter how much it sounds like I am.  All that I want, is to have people realise that they might not need what they think they do, what society thinks they do and programmed them to think they do. 

I simply want people to be able to think for themselves instead of having something like the government telling them what to think.

Tonight, I am sad.
I know not how or why
I simply am.

I have seen my boyfriend,
My family,
Talked to my best friend,
Done my readings,
And spent time with a few of those I love.

It sounds fantastic,
Wonderful,
Definitely better off than many could ask for.
So then, why?
Why am I sad?

I know not why. 
I am.

That is all I know. 
I am.

Things could be so much worse.
I could be dying.
I could be dead.
But I'm not.

Why must I waste my time this way?
Why must I feel this way?
I don't understand my existence.
I have things so well
So much better than others,
I'm sure.

But, again
I must ask.
Why?

I just am.

Hey guys.

"Yeah, great. You're disappointed.  Of course. What is it this time?" is probably what you're all thinking.


Well, yesterday in my morning philosophy class (yes, I have philosophy first thing in the morning.  Am I crazy?  Maybe, but it does make sense to me. =P), our prof showed us 3 pictures to demonstrate virtue, honour, and fear in the eyes of Montesquieu.  These picures were Socrates for virtue, 50 cent for honour, and Peter Pettigrew for fear. 

When asked who the first picture was of, the class couldn't respond.  When someone did, it was wayy off.  I mean, I think they guessed a fictional character or something.  I couldn't quite hear what they said, but it had WAYYY too many syllables to even come close to being Socrates. 

I know, you're probably thinking, "How are they supposed to know that?"  I also know that he isn't a person you find in pop culture like 50 cent and that rat from the Potter series, but you see, the prof showed us the picture not long ago telling us who it was.  So they SHOULD HAVE known.  Clearly they didn't care enough to take note.  I mean, you're in this class, you may as well pay attention.  Might think that I'm not a person to say that being on Facebook and talking to people online, but at least I still listen enough to take all the notes I need and I know what the prof is talking about.

From what I've learned last year, people will just show up and not take notes and not pay attention.  This really irks me.  You paid for this, why come and pay for school if you're not even going to pay attention and actually learn something?

Anyway, that's my rant for today.

I have another post for you guys involving the sweetest little thing that I met the day before yesterday.

Until that's up,
Dusk

Hi everyone!!!

Second day of school today and I picked up more books for my courses.  The one for my English Lit Tradition I class is SO FREAKING HUGE!  It's so thick and heavy, like, I don't even know...I have to carry this 15 minutes to class everyday (or at least until it gets too cold or snowy to walk).  I could use this instead of going out to buy weights to lift. 

I mean, I could throw this at someone's head and they'd be knocked unconscious. 

The other books I purchased are much smaller and lighter (thank god!), but I will have to read them all...I'm going to go crazy with all of this stuff...serves me right for packing in a tonne of English courses into one term.  Oh, well.  I'll deal.  =P

I hope you're all doing well!

Dusk

Hey guys!

So, Boyfriend is back at school, I'm starting again on Monday (yay...) and everything's relatively fine and dandy. 

Over the summer, I have gotten four of his shirts because he outgrew them and they were still in decent condition.  Needless to say that I've been wearing them.  Well...two actually.  One to sleep in, one to go out in (for the record, I have no idea how he kept that white shirt SO white...neither of us are particularly neat and we're both clumsy as heck).  The other two are dress shirts, both of which I can wear rather casually.  Except one is a bit too big so it'll have to stay unbuttoned...which is a shame.  I really love the look of it.

I've also been talking fairly regularly with one of his friends.  He's a real pleasant guy to talk to, I really wish he could see that.  He's real sweet and nice.  It's a shame I have to wait a year to actually meet him, but hey!  Definitely worth the wait.  He's an interesting one. =]

I'm not particularly sure about how I feel about going back to school, I mean, yes, my friends will be there, but at the same time, my friends from home won't be.  I haven't seen much of them this summer either what with our jobs and all.  I wish I could have spent more time with them.  Being away for nearly two months doesn't help.  But, whatever. 

I think it's safe to say that I won't be going to another field school next summer, so I should have more time to hang around everybody.  At least, that's what I'm hoping. 

Not entirely sure how coming home from school for weekends is going to work yet.  There's this one friend that I usually take the train with once I reach downtown, but he's working right after school now, so I don't want him to be late.  Not to mention in second term, I have classes right when I normally take the train, so not sure how to handle that yet.  I guess I'll just take it as it comes.

Anyway, I guess this is just my little rambling update about the summer.

I hope you've all been doing well, and I will see you all soon!

Dusk

So, today isn't nearly as bad.  The rest of the family is here now.  My uncle's dog, I saw a good number of months ago when I could hold her with one hand.  Now, she's 5 months old and so much bigger, but ever so cute!  She used to look like this:

Not anymore!  I still love her so much though!  She's not that big, but much bigger than I remember.  If you start petting her, she'll just lie down and let you pet her.  I love her ears!  They're so floppy! ^_^  Sometimes she'll try to bite, but it doesn't hurt much.  When she grows a bit more, I'm sure it will though.  She's going to be a BIG dog.  I want to hug her all the time.  She's so soft and quiet. x3

Along with the puppy came my littlest cousins.  They're the cutest things.  Them + puppy = cute-plosion!  Yes, they own this dog.  They're all so much fun to play with. 

My other two cousins showed up and started fishing once they got unpacked.  Went out to take some photos of them and some other stuff.  Got an offer to fish with them and the moment the rod was handed to me, a fish got on the hook.  Unfortunately, it swallowed the hook and bled all over me as I tried to take the hook out (something that never happens because usually when we fish, my sister catches the fish and I just sit there with no luck).  So, my cousin stepped in and got the fish off for me.

We found out that one of our cousins, the same age as him can't watch people fish.  I asked her how she can eat meat and she told me that she can eat it, but she can't watch it get captured.  I don't know how this works considering any meat would have to be captured to be killed and eaten...She also tried to keep the fish that were caught alive by adding more water to the bin.  Not sure how this works.  It kind of died anyway...

Anyway, today isn't too bad.  Could be worse. 

More updates soon!

Dusk

Why do I always end up with crap roommates?  Does this ENTIRE school year hate me or something? 

I'm not even at school anymore, but I'm living with people I can't stand.  It sound harsh, especially since what we're doing is staying at a cottage for a week with all of Mom's side of the family...well, just her siblings and their kids.  But, we just got here, and her youngest sister is with us.  Her 2nd husband, I suppose, is such a power-tripping chauvanist.  I mean, we get into the cottage, settle a bit and all I hear is, "No kids here, don't do this, women doing this..." BLAH, FREAKING BLAH! 

The worst thing is that this is only the beginning.  We just got here today and we're here for a week.  Somebody save me? Dx

I'm already in a horrible mood after that.  I'm hiding out in my room refusing to go downstairs or anything because I don't want to deal with people.  A few more people are coming tomorrow and I don't know when everyone else is supposed to be here. 

Of all the things he could be though, does my uncle really have to be like that?  If he shoos me away telling me, "No kids here."  I'm going to give him something to think about.  I mean, I'm 19!  I'm legally an adult.  Yes, he's my elder.  Yes, I should be respecting him too.  But, although younger, we deserve to be treated with respect and dignity too.  I mean, dear God!  We are people too.  We are here to have a good time, and the first thing he does is piss me off. 

Yeah.  Thanks a lot.

Looks like I'm going to be hiding out in my room a lot this week.  I'll keep you guys updated on how this all goes.

Wish me luck, and I really hope you guys are having a better time wherever you are than I am.

Dusk

Gooooooddddddd day, everyone.  Good evening to those on this side of the planet. 
Today, my boyfriend and I hung around and went to watch "Total Recall."  It wasn't nearly as good as it's all hyped up to be.  It's basically a typical guy film: explosions, girls, explosions.  So, plot, a bit flimsy, and writing?  Well, that could have been much better. 
I would write a review for it, but I don't feel quite as strongly towards it as my boyfriend does.  Probably because I just see it as a typical guy film that's just used as an excuse to see explosions.  So if you guys want a review, I shall redirect you to his review.

After the movie, the two of us grabbed dinner and went back to his place where I met his cousins, aunt, uncle, and great aunt (his great aunt is so awesome.  I love her! =D)  After that, we went upstairs to his room, where we--finally, after quite a while--put Pokemon Gold on my phone. 
You sickos, we didn't do that!  We just got Pokemon on my phone, that's all.  So, since I've gotten home, I've been super torn about writing this post and playing...I've been jumping between the two for about a half hour now.  It's so bad how distracted I am. o.o But, the thing is, this is really new to me despite having grown up in the original Pokemon era.  I've really missed a lot.  I mean, the most I did was watch some of the episodes, I never played the games.  So, here I am now with Pokemon Gold on my phone and loving it. =]

Anyway, back to my game.  I'm sorry about the lack of posts lately.  To make it up to you, here is a picture of a sleepy corgi pup.

Stay awesome, guys!
Dusk

I recently thought back to a short film that I saw last year before I made this blog and thought that you guys might enjoy it as well as another that I have found thanks to the comments on the first video.

They are both short and so sweet with quite a message. 

This video is about a little voodoo doll that has to build up the courage to do what he must to save his friends.  A sad, but ever so touching, short film. 

Now, this short film depicts a very true to life story.  It is both touching and sad, but in the most beautiful of ways. 

Hope you enjoyed them!

Dusk

Hi all!

So, today, I talked to my boyfriend about one of his friends whom I've been talking to for a while.  This friend of his told me that at some point in time, my boyfriend went to go see the first "Twilight" movie with some friends of theirs.  Was I ever shocked.  He also told me that throughout the movie, my boyfriend gave it a few snorts and sarcastic remarks.

No, I'm not one of those girls that forced her boyfriend to watch it because I love Edward (I don't).  I am, however, the girlfriend that discovered that he watched this before he watched this one particular movie critic that made him ever so much more snarky about movies.  Boy, was he ever in for it.  Neither of us enjoyed the movie, but I somehow ended up with a copy of it.  So, we put it on, just to see his newer reactions to it.

The movie hadn't started yet, and I wasn't able to skip ahead to the menu to play it.  So, what does Boyfriend do?  He gets all snarky and sarcastic on the trailers!  I was SO entertained!  He ripped on movies that we weren't even going to watch.

Once the movie started, my sister and brother walked in.  There was talk happening over the first five to ten minutes of the movie.  When it finally quieted down, he slowly began to snort and give all sorts of remarks.  He questioned the part where Bella and Edward sat around the piano with no background information.  I don't think I actually realised how little sense that made without having read the book first.  For anyone who hasn't read the book, they wouldn't know that this is the part where Edward plays the lullaby he wrote for Bella.

I apologise to anyone out there who likes this movie, but really, the directing, acting, and staging could have been improved greatly.  But, then again...so could the story itself.

We had to end the movie early since Boyfriend had to go home.  So we'll be finishing it up tomorrow.  You'll probably be hearing more about it. =P

Oh, yeah.  He's really upset that they used Muse for the soundtrack of this movie.  He loves Muse.  I was sad to tell him that this is how I discovered both Muse and Paramore.  But mostly Muse since it's one of his favourite bands.

Hi Everyone!

As you probably know from the title (that is, if you read it) I'm DONE with the field school!  It was officially out this past Friday, but we still had a paper that is due today.  Finished it this morning at about 1:30 and woke up around 9:00 this morning.  I am SO tired.

BUT!  That's okay, because I am DONE!  I can sleep when I need to now and wake up whenever. 

I'm amazingly happy to be done, but I am going to miss all the people from the field school a lot.  It's sort of like U101, I guess.  I miss the people I was with, but I'm sure I'll see them again sometime, somehow.

Now, I have this entire week to worry about getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday...I have books from the library ready to go.  Sadly, we're low on bandwidth at home right now.  So it looks like I'll be reading, watching TV, and sleeping for most of those days.

I am soooo nervous. I don't like pain, the thought of pain, and--oh, yes--did I mention I'm squeamish?  Brushing my teeth is going to be interesting...and the gauze in my mouth?  Oh, dear...yeah...I have an easily triggered gag reflex too...

The surgeon said that I'll be getting a drowsy med and a non-drowsy med afterwards.  Mom is saying I should just keep on the drowsy meds so I can sleep through recovery and just not worry about things.  My siblings have already begun tormenting me, so I sort of don't want to be on drowsy meds.  But, we'll see. 

We're bringing Boyfriend along so he can help me to the car and whatnot.  I'm told that I'll be awake and coherent after the surgery, but I get the feeling that we'll just stumble to the car, into the house, and into bed.  Poor Boyfriend, just going to see me completely nervous, then all delirious. 

Hope he doesn't worry about me as much as I'm worrying about the surgery.  He has to work during the week while I recover.  He can see me over the weekend, but I might be sleeping the days away.  I don't know.  Depends if Mom really does want to keep me on the drowsy meds or not.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know how it goes.  Scared as heck right now. @_@

Hope you guys are doing well,

Dusk

Hi Everyone!

Happy June!  I know it's been a while, but hey, I'm kind of out every day to dig, so what can I do about it, right?  Anyway, I hope you're all doing well. 

The dig has been interesting.  Met some interesting people, I still don't know all the names of the people I'm with...I mean, I live in a house with 23 people and I STILL don't know all of their names. @_@  I'm brilliant, aren't I? xD  I thought that I would share one of my finds with you.  It was a piece of a mortar bomb shell!  Yeah!  Awesomeness!!!  It's so cool.  =P  Mind you, I didn't dig that up, but I did find it first!  My prof decided that he would help me dig my unit (those little square plots of dirt you see archaeologists sitting in all the time) that day since everyone was either surveying or in the lab, leaving only Danielle and I at our site with our TA.

Yeah, learned that I like digging my own unit best.  I know how the underlayer of dirt goes best.  I knew it was sloping up towards the northwest end, but my prof didn't and he just went at it making it all flat.  Indeed, I was awfully sad when that happened, plus, the unit seems so much less personal to me now...I am sad...on the other hand, ceramic pieces and a mortar bomb shell fragment...sooo I guess it's sort of a trade off? 

I thought this field school was just going to be digging, but it turns out that we have to write papers as well with limited Internet access.  I mean, we have to leave the house to get reliable Internet...It really sucks, but at the same time, I am learning and doing interesting things.  I just really wish we didn't have to do that since after a full day (8:30AM-4:00PM) of digging with an hour break at noon for lunch is extremely exhausting.  The pressure is seriously on because of the short amount of time that we are here.  I'm still not sure how I'm going to get that final paper in to my prof.  It's due the Monday after the field school is over AND he wants a paper copy...the university is far from home and my parents are working...well, I'm going to have to do my best to get it to him on the Friday before, I suppose.  Printing is going to be an issue though.  We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I think that's all I have about that for now.  I'll definitely keep you guys posted as best I can!

Hope you're having an awesome time!

Dusk

Hey guys.

I don't know if I'm excited, or sad.  I'm going to be leaving home and Boyfriend for six weeks again soon.  I love the idea of going on an archaeological dig, but at the same time, I finally get to be with Boyfriend again.  I don't want to leave him again.  Not after so long of being apart. 

*sigh* A few days before I go.  I'm really not ready now.  I need to pack again.  I need to make sure I have everything, and most of all, I need to make sure Boyfriend knows that I love him.  I don't want to leave him, but I need to just for a bit.  We'll still be in contact, but it'd be difficult since I'll be working all day long and presumably quite tired at night. 

I haven't gotten to see many friends in the time that I've been home.  I do feel bad about that and I do suppose that it would have made me feel better instead of falling into this rut.  But we'll get there.  We have all summer, right?

Well, anyway, I just really want to be able to see people.  I want to be with them and I want them to know that I love them.  Society does not allow for time anymore.  "Family time" and "social time" are barely existent when there's school and work to be "done." =\

I guess we'll work this out one way or another.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.  I'll talk to you guys again later.

Dusk

The ceiling is always high
Always, always, always high
It's just how it was made
That's how it was meant to be

The floor...
The floor is always down...
It sounds sad, but it's the truth
The floor is always down
You can't offer it coffee
You can't offer it coffee because no matter how tired you are
Or how nice you want to be,
The floor is always there for you
But, it is always down.

You can't do anything for it
The floor is always down

The ceiling is always high
The floor is always down
And the walls?
The walls are somewhere in between
Both high and down

It's their escape
They're down
So they get high to get away

The sky's the limit though
The sky is higher than any ceiling
There are low ceilings
They don't get very high
But the sky
The sky is so high
It's so high and it stays that way

It's made that way
That's how it's meant to be

See?  The sky is high.


I apologise for those who can't follow.  There is nothing to follow.  I am just very tired and rambling.  That is what I do when I am tired.  I really need to sleep.  I need to sleep tonight.  I need to sleep well tonight...

Dusk

For those of you that haven't watched it yet, or haven't heard of it, "The Raven" is a mystery/horror about a serial killer who is inspired by the works of Edgar Allen Poe.  Hence, "The Raven."  Please keep in mind that it is rated 18A, and for those of you with weak stomachs, either don't watch it or watch it, but when something sickening comes up, look away.  I highly recommend the second one.  I did that and I still loved the movie.  =D

I found it much better than Sherlock and I will tell you why.  I mean, Sherlock is great and all, but they don't really show you how Sherlock and Watson come to their conclusions.  In a way, the Sherlock movies are very Scooby Doo-esque.  In "The Raven," you actually follow along, you find clues, and you piece it together quite well yourself as the characters are doing so.   It is like reading a mystery novel since you actually see what the characters see and are able to pick up clues along the way.  

It is beautifully written.  The lines are neither weird, nor cheesy and cliche like some movies out there.  It brings out a whole range of emotion from scaring you leaving lingering thoughts and images in your mind throughout the movie, to almost wanting to cry because of how well it's written and directed.  

The acting is awesome, and the movie in general is quite easy to follow.  It keeps you on the edge of your seat, or if you're with a special someone, near them in case anything is about to happen.

All in all, a great movie.  Definitely recommended.  

Hope you guys have a great time watching it.

Dusk

You know, I wish we didn't have to live in a world where insecurities come from the very things we cannot control.  I mean, everyone makes each other uncomfortable because of where they were born, how they're raised, the way they look, how they talk, all sorts of ridiculous reasons.

What's the point of making someone else feel uncomfortable?  They could do the same to you.  When we get all self conscious, we colour our hair, cake our faces in make-up, change the way we dress.  Why?  If it's not you, why bother?  The worst part is that most people look so much nicer without changing themselves like that and they don't realise it.

Other animals on the earth couldn't care less, and they don't do the weird things that we do.  If they don't care, why should we? 

We are the strangest creatures.  We take the long, unnecessary way to get things like food with this whole money thing...We don't just hunt, eat, and sleep like any other creature.   We work ourselves to death on unneeded things to get food and shelter...why?  Why do we make things unnecessary and complicated for ourselves?

We really are strange animals.

I don't understand our species.

Dusk

Hi guys!

I'm home for a few weeks, then I'm off again to volunteer for an archaeological dig!  I'll be about 2 hours away from home with one of my best friends!  I'll be out there for about 6 weeks.  All day out in the sun/rain playing in the dirt which, according to the people in charge, will be like my second home.  For all this work outside, I will be gaining 2 credits for school.  I get the weekends off so, I may be able to get home for brief visits.

Hopefully, I won't hurt myself or anything.  If I can, I'll see if I can do some posts during those 6 weeks out there depending on how tired and busy I am.  I hope I can tell you guys about what I'm doing while I'm out there.  I also hope that it'll be nice and warm, not scorching hot, or freezing like this weird weather we've been having lately.

Anyway, yeah, I thought I'd share that with all of you!  If I find anything cool that I can tell you about, I will! =]

Until next time,
Dusk

Hi everyone!

I finished exams this past Thursday and have been celebrating with Nicole by watching Doctor Who and Teen Titans! =P

Being Human will be the next thing to continue watching and I'll probably be watching the Sherlock Holmes series soon too.  My friend from back home has introduced me to Sherlock on our way home one day on the train, and I wanted so much for my assignments and exams to be over so I could watch.

NOW I HAVE TIME!!!

We also went to see the Hunger Games movie.  It was quite good, but I think the camera work could be tweaked a little, it almost made me motion sick. @_@  The movie has been quite good otherwise though, it made me want to cry.

Well, anyway, I will be going to see more houses for next year today with my parents and moving out of Nicole's.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, NICOLE!!! Dx

But, we will have our time. 

I get to see my high school friends again soon, Boyfriend included.  I've missed them all so much!

We will have to hang out when we aren't working or something this summer. 

Oh!  I'm going on an archaeological dig this summer for a month and a half!  Ian will be there and we are going to be outside ALL DAY LONG!!!  This is going to be interesting. =]  I'll let you know how it is if I'm not too exhausted after doing that all day.

I'm so sorry that this post has gone everywhere, but so much has been going on! @_@

I hope I haven't confused you guys too much.  But, regardless of that, I hope you're having an awesome time!

Until next time when, hopefully my mind is a bit better organised.

Dusk

A little something that I wrote while trying to work on an essay that was due on the day of the exam for that course.

Adele is setting fire to the rain,
I'm feverishly trying to finish my essay
The dog lies ever so calm next to my stressed body.
My mind can only take so much.

I await the alarm that tells me to catch the bus
The train station isn't far off.

In a few hours, I'll be home
Home.
Only to find myself coming back
All the way back to write
To write the papers that society deems so important
To write the papers that will tell me if I am ready to go on.

I write the papers
They need to know I'm prepared.
I write the papers
So that my future may be declared.
I write the papers
To make my family proud.

I write the papers
I write the papers
I write the papers.

That's right, guys!!!  I AM OFFICIALLY NOT IN RESIDENCE ANYMOREEEE!!!! =D

All is good now!  CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON! =P

Alright...that's all... *throws confetti in the air* if you feel this needs more of a celebration, feel free to comment. xP

Dusk

Hai Guys!

Get your celebratory hats on!  I'm going to be officially checking out of residence today!!!  Yes, it's finally happening!!!  The keys are handed in, I just need to give an overview of the condition of the apartment when I left it, then sign out.  I will be doooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeee with that place!!!

I'll be honest, I am sad that I'm leaving my roommate (the one that I actually shared a bedroom with).  She was definitely the best of all of my flat mates.  I still have a couple of classes with her and we've been talking a bit still online.  She really is the most caring of them.  She would listen and we could have good lengthy talks about things that we were interested in.  I really do hope that the two of us can stay friends. 

Just so you guys know, she wasn't there when I had the huge fallout-plosion with one of our flat mates about the mess disaster area that that apartment was is.  She was in class.  I'm kind of glad that she was too.  I would have hated to end things with her...

Anyway, I'll let you guys know how checking out goes.

See you around!

Dusk

Alright, everyone. 

So, I've handed my keys back to the don.  Officially checked out, right?...Nope.  They lost my forms from the beginning of the year.  I need to set up another meeting with the don again to get that done.  But, I am half way there!

I can't wait for this to be done!  Can't wait to get passed these assignments and exams too.  So much stress. @_@

Anyway...it's pretty late here...I just thought I'd give you all a quick update before I sleep.

I can't guarantee that I will have much coming in the near future since exams and assignments are eating my face...figuratively, of course, but still.  Until all that is done, you might not hear much from me for the next few weeks.

Regardless, I hope you all have an awesome time being you!

Dusk

Hey Everyone,

So, as you know, if you have read my previous post, you'd know that I moved out of residence, otherwise known as "That Sad Hell Hole of an Apartment," and into Nicole's house. 

Nicole's house is SO much nicer, cleaner, and the people living there are much more considerate.  I couldn't be more grateful.  I still have yet to hand in my keys.  Unfortunately, I need to wait until Wednesday to do that since that is when the don is free.  Besides that, I'm totally ready for summer...you know...beside the fact that I don't have a job yet...It's tough trying to find a job and have all these papers and such at the same time...I don't know how some people do it.

It's weird being so far from the bank and from Ian's, but I ought to get used to it anyway.  I'm not going to be living on campus next year.  It's also weird not going home by train with my friend, Daniel, anymore.  I miss him.  My parents have been coming down on the weekends to look at houses and I'd go home with them.  Except for this past weekend where I stayed to go to a party with Nicole.  She wanted me to meet her friends, and to be honest, I like them.  They're interesting and funny. =]

It's still weird catching a bus before classes and a ride with her mom after classes.  Mind you, it hasn't even been a full week since the incident, so I guess it would make sense. 

Anyway, more next time.  For now, chill, get your stuff done, and be prepared for the happy "I'm officially out of residence!" celebration!

Until then,

Dusk

Hai Guys! :3

Yeah, so, for those of you out there that don't know, my roommates and I just went through this MASSIVE explosive fight.  Remember how I told you that the place is disgusting and nobody does anything?  Well, I finally got sick of it and tagged them all in a Facebook status saying that they have to clean up EVERYTHING in the sink by 7:00PM on Wednesday or I would throw it all out.  I had no complaints...until Kelsey saw it. 

Basically, she called me out of my room and started screaming at me asking me why I had posted that on Facebook, telling me how embarrassing it was, and how I should have just told them.  Wellllllll, clearly she hadn't finished reading the post because I had said that I posted it since I didn't know all of their schedules and this way I knew they would see it.  But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

She called me out and we had a verbal smackdown in which nobody wins.  Nicole knows.  She was there lying on my bed listening to it happen.  But, honestly, clean the dishes!  There was NO space to clean ANYTHING.  The dishes in the sink piled right up to the faucet!  I was going to throw everything out because I couldn't do anything in the kitchen!  Besides, how in the world was that embarrassing at all for her?!  She always has people coming in, everybody's seen the mess!  What are they going to care?!

But, nope.  Nicole's mom was concerned for me because girls are bloody vicious creatures.  I don't like many of them, however, the few that become my friends are REALLY good friends (ie. Nicole =P).  I was very lucky.  Nicole's parents took me in.  We just finished taking the last of my stuff out of that place.  I swear that was the 7th layer of Hell or something...what did I do in a past life?! D'x

It sounds like due time to celebrate my leaving that filth pit, yes?  Not quite.  I still have to do a proper check-out of residence with my floor don (dorm advisor, if you will).  So, I'm trying to get a hold of her so we can set up a sort of appointment and I'll return my keys and everything.  I don't want anything to do with that apartment ever again.

I'll let you know when we can start celebrating my freedom of that stupid place. 

In the meantime, keep it real, keep true to you.

Peace,

Dusk

Well, hello, World!

Thought I'd let you know how my day went today.

I got back to residence after my morning class to find about four to five bottles of alcohol on the kitchen table standing in a line from biggest to smallest.  I will update later to show you what I mean.  This made me worry and the first thing that I thought of was, "I'm NOT getting any sleep tonight..."

Being me, my first thought was to see if I could crash at Nicole's only to realise that she finishes classes much earlier in the day and the buses stop running an hour before I get off class.  Not a problem, right?  You can just skip that last class, it's okay, right?  NO!  I don't skip class, I'm a good student. =]  Not to mention, I had a quiz to write in that class. 

So, I started to feel down because I couldn't think about how to handle the noise my roommates would make tonight.  THEN, because Nicole is brilliant and I am not (yes, I did say that), she reminded me that I could go to Ian's to sleep.  It would mean that I am on a couch, but it also means that it'd be quiet and I get sleep tonight.  Of course, I gave Ian a text and now, HERE I AM!  I'm at Ian's.  He and Nicole are seriously the ones keeping me sane while I have to deal with these darned roommates.

Yeah...so...I don't really know how to end this...

So, here, have a sleepy Corgi.

Dusk =]

Hey Everyone!

Thought I should let you know that the dye from the first round of blue (green) finally washed out.  I recently re-coloured it and it's MORE blue this time!  Much darker than the first time around and much bluer! 

Also, my style has changed a bit.  I've started wearing ties with my blouses with a t-shirt underneath.  It all started when I found this '80s sort of tie with chains and safety pins hanging off of it.  Since then, I got sort of enthusiastic about ties and I asked Dad for his thin blue tie that he first used to teach me how to tie.  I'm so glad he taught me how to tie a tie. =]

Honestly, I asked him to teach me because I had this paranoia having never worn a uniform before thinking that I would need a tie.  He probably knew that I wouldn't need one, but I didn't know.  He didn't bother explaining to me that I wouldn't need it.  Instead, he just went with it and showed me how without hesitation.  For a while I would have his tie hanging off the doorknob of my bedroom in case I would want to practice tying it more.

Eventually he got his tie back.  I still took it every so often just to prove to myself that I could still tie it.  Now, he just doesn't wear ties unless there's some sort of occasion, so he let me take the same blue tie back to school with me. 

I don't know why I suddenly love ties so much, but I'm having fun with it, so it's all good.

Oh, yeah.  I recently washed my hair for the first time since re-colouring it, and I kid you not, it looked like a smurf exploded in the shower. xD  That was horrible.  I'm sorry...=[

But yeah, I turned the shower, my towel, my hands, and my hairbrush blue.  Thank goodness the blue came off my hands though. =P  I think my hair became more green again though.  It's dark green.

Well...I believe that's all for now. 

I'll keep you guys in the loop.

Until next time,

Dusk

You know what I really hate?

I hate the fact that we've had all of these apartment meetings talking about how we're going to keep this place clean, and the only one pulling their weight around here is me.  I hate how we talked about keeping dishes and pots out of the sink and off of the stove so others can use it and I'm the only one doing that.  I hate that I live with a bunch of IDIOTS that lie their way through things.  I hate that, although I don't work as hard as I could be, they still work less.  I hate that they email professors saying that they're ill or have an exam so that they can get extensions on things while I work my butt off trying to keep with that due date.  I HATE that I do what I do quietly without bothering them and they're so damned loud all the freaking time when I'm trying to work, trying to sleep, or just doing nothing. 

I hate it.  I hate living on this floor where people destroy and steal property.  I hate that I have to live with these people. 

I hate that I have to deal with the stench in our apartment while no one else cares.  I hate that I have to clean off what is not my mess just so I can use what I need to.  I hate that I have to live in this sorry dump that we're supposed to call an apartment.  That we're supposed to call this HOME during these few months of school.

I hate that I keep my stuff out of the way while they just leave their crap everywhere.  I hate that.  I hate that they don't care.  I want to take everything that they're supposed to do and dump it all on their stupid little beds so that they can see even clearer than things already are, that our place is a filthy, digusting, vomit-inducing MESS.

I hate that we can't open the windows.  I hate that they don't know how to cook.  I hate that they don't know how to clean.  I hate that they think they're so amazing because they're NOT. 

They're not!  And I want to hit something.  I want to live away from this.  But really...just really...I just want to leave this stupid place and never come back.  I never want to see their faces again, I never want to hear their names or their voices.  I just want out. 

I don't like it here.  I never did and I never will. 

People are never what they seem to be.  Don't take them at face value.  Get to know them better before you say whether you like them or not.  See if they really are the people you want to be around or be like because half the time, they're not.

Hey, Everyone!

Thought I'd tell you about my mess of assignments...well, I guess it isn't that many, but when I even think about working them all out, it feels like a lot.  You see, just before the end of Reading Week, Nicole told me that I have a proposal to do for Reading Drama.  What I didn't realise was that it was actually just the outline for it.  So there I was panicking like a mad child about having to write six pages for Monday...little did I realise that I read the wrong part of the syllabus. 

I ONLY needed the outline, not the actual proposal which is due later on.  Crisis diverted...only sort of.  I also have the rough draft of an essay due this Friday, the actual essay to write, a research paper to start for Archaeology, AND the final proposal for Drama.....fun.

If I actually do plan things to work out, all should be fine.  But, having my brain, I would be thinking about anime at such a bad time...I just spent my break this afternoon watching the first three and a half episodes of Blue Exorcist.  Smart me...I think this is just a result of stress and the recent bout of depression passing...I guess you can't really call it depression, but it is just feeling really, really, REALLY down...it's getting better now.  I think what I really needed was just some companionship...even though I wanted to be alone. 

I noticed that when my roommate got back that I was feeling a bit better.  It started as that little bit of fake smiles and all that, but then Nicole came by.  Thank God that she did too.  That made me feel a LOT better. =]

If you're reading this, Nicole, thanks so much! =]

It's tough to do when you're really down, but seriously, being with your friends, even when you want to be just completely alone to mope helps SOOO much.

Anyway, more on that another time.  Class is starting soon.

Hasta la bye bye,

Dusk

Hey Guys,

Sorry I haven't been posting much.  Been spending the week with my boyfriend.  I haven't seen him since Christmas Eve when I had to see him off to Vancouver.  We were only together for 3 days then.  This time we had a whole week.

You'd think we'd get used to this whole being apart thing after a while now.  But, honestly, I don't think there is any getting used to this...it just hurts every time we need to separate.  Sure it's only for a while, it's not like we'll be apart forever, but it still hurts.  There just is no getting used to this.

I swear Dad is getting irritated at me breaking down emotionally just about every time we need to see him off, but I can't help it.  The longest he's been away from Mom is just a week for her business trips.  It's not like it happens all that often either.  Boyfriend and I are separated for at least a month at a time.  With, if we're lucky, only a week to be together.  Sure, there's summer and all, but we're both looking for jobs, and it doesn't necessarily mean that we'll be working together.  Besides, how long are we going to have to wait until the next summer, right?

Like, sheesh, way to be insensitive.  Thanks. 

I'm really sorry if you guys were looking forward to some happy, cheery post, but I really needed to get that off my chest.

If you're reading this, I miss you so much.

Dusk

Hey, guys.

I was just thinking and I came across this one thought that I thought you should know about.  You should never take yourself too seriously.  You've all heard about boring party poopers to be a "stick in the mud," yes?  Well, it's true, don't take everything so seriously.  I mean, if you take a perfectly awesome thing and make it all sad, dull, and boring to the point that it may as well just be some gray thing.  Not even an interesting gray thing, but a ridiculously boring gray thing, then you've got to be more than a stick in the mud.  Not "more than" as in, you're better than that, instead, it's something more like, you'd be more of a boring stick in the mud than just any old stick in the mud.

You wouldn't be an interesting stick with cool contours, nicks, and a cool breaking point from where you've separated from the tree.  Nope.  You'd be a very, very boring, straight standing, smooth stick.  There is nothing interesting about you.  The most you'd probably be good for is to act as a tool that, I think it was monkeys, if not chimps, or both, use to lift bits of tree bark or whatever to get at the bugs underneath.  That is, if you had a pointed or flat-ish tip.  If you're so boring that you can't even do that, wellllll then, you should probably learn to be more interesting, or there is no hope because your boringness is so darned boring that you'd never get out of your boring cyclone. 

Yes, boring cyclone.  Everywhere you go, instead of causing chaos and destruction, you will cause boringness to spread.  People would be like zombies...no, like robots.  Not those scary robots that would take over the world, either.  Just robots that do what they're told.  No artificial intelligence.  Just machines where you input information, and information comes out.  That is it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, live life, guys.  Don't be all boring.  Make something of yourself and have some fun.  Cut loose.  Be you, do something different.  Colour your hair.  Do something crazy.  Make life something you want to remember, not something that is just droning on and on like a lecture on dead bacteria...do they do lectures on dead bacteria?  I don't know.  But if you like that stuff, then awesome!  Go enjoy that lecture on dead bacteria!

Make life what you want it to be.

Be what you are, don't care what other people say, and stay true.

And most of all, remember what Ms. Frizzle taught us as kids: "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"

Peace out!

Dusk

Hey, Everyone!

If you haven't seen on my previous post, I went to go see The Woman in Black recently.  I haven't been able to sleep well since then.  I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.  Good in the sense that the movie definitely did what it was meant to, but bad since I'm not sleeping well.

Also, in case you haven't heard, Boyfriend is coming back soon. He had to watch The Shining for his Philosophy and Film class.  He managed to wake up late and miss it so he's going to get that.  I told him not to watch it yet because I want to watch it with him. 

Being the good boyfriend that he is, he questioned about how good of an idea that really is since I'm already spooked and he had to try and comfort me so many times last year during my Mystery and Horror Literature class.  He's only had to comfort me once this year...being for this week starting Wednesday night when I watched the movie.  I told him that it shouldn't be as bad this time around since I watched The Shining for my Mystery and Horror class and besides, this time I have him holding me, so it can't possibly be as bad, right?

We'll see.  If it traumatises me more, he, and you guys will definitely be the first to know.  I must be the least rational girlfriend he could have.  I still sort of question why he picked such a self deprecating, seriously negative, dark, and irrational girlfriend even after having reached our anniversary.  I must say though, since we've started going out, I've been feeling a lot better than I usually have.  I still have my strange bouts of being down, but a normal person isn't happy all the time, right? 

Well, when he feels he has an answer, I'm sure he'll tell me.  He's such an amazing guy though, I love him so much and I'm so thankful that he's held tight to this relationship for so long already (has never been in a relationship prior, so a year actually seems kind of long considering the two of us never expected our first relationships to last so long).  I don't know what I'd do without him.  Time would definitely seem to pass slower considering the fact that I look at assignments and exams to be milestones that I must get past so that I can get closer to being able to see him again.

Anyway, I guess that's enough for tonight.

If you read this, Boyfriend, I love you. =] <3

From the computer of your crazy little blogger,

Dusk

I've recently been out to see The Woman In Black with Nicole, you guys all know Nicole by now. =P

Well, the movie had a very nice story going.  It was very sweet, but extremely spooky at the same time.

At this time, Nicole would probably freak out at me and say something along the lines of, "HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! YOU SPENT HALF OF THE MOVIE BEHIND A MAGAZINE!"

It's true...I did.  That was how scary it was...and as any good horror movie/book, I'm not going to be able to sleep for a week...I'm also flinching at everything, and I'm afraid of the dark...again.  Usually I really like the dark.  But every once in a while I get spooked and it doesn't leave me alone.  It makes sleeping a challenge, and I'm really freaked out by showers...I always get the feeling that something will pop up. 

I feel the shower thing needs a bit of explaining.  When I'm at home, the door to our shower is clear and I use the towels as a sort of curtain-ish thing.  I always get the feeling that someone is going to shift the towel aside and pop up suddenly with a really frightening look. @_@

I spook way too easily and shouldn't watch horror movies, but at the same time I like the stories...it doesn't work very well.  Anyway, back to the movie.

It isn't quite like some horror films where they just give you a mess of cheap scares and it scares you anyway.  It lines you up for many different kinds of scares.  Cheap scares, "HOLY OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!" scares, the "OH GOD...OH GOD WHAT IS THAT...WHAT. IS. THAT?!" scares, and last but not least the fake, where they set you up for what you think will be a cheap scare and nothing happens.  You know why nothing happens?  They're saving it all for later...

Honestly though, I did like this movie despite the fact that it scared me behind a magazine constantly.  I mean...that's what it was supposed to do right?  Plus, I won't be sleeping properly for a week, so it totally wins there.

I would totally recommend it to anyone who enjoys horror films and ghosts.

I hope you enjoyed this, although it was pretty side-tracked.

Until next time,

Dusk

I'll Be~

The strands in your eyes that colour them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth

And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be btter when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive, and not dead

And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I dropped out, I burned up, I fought my way back from the dead,
I tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said.

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life.

-Edwin McCain

I love you, Sweetheart.  I can't wait to see you again.  Happy anniversary!  You're still the best. <3

Love,
The Greatest Fan of Your Life. <3 :3

Hey Everyone,

I congratulate everyone that understood that reference.

I thought I'd let you know how my hair turned out yesterday.  So, after a good three hours at the hair dressers with bleach and blue dye in my hair, we learned something.

NOPE!

Here's the story:

First, my dye is very dark. For some reason, the hair dresser was afraid it wouldn't show. But, my hair was bleached first, so I thought, if anything, my hair would turn out be like Josh Ramsay's.  She was afraid it wouldn't show because of how dark it was up against my own hair, which is QUITE dark.  When her husband started rinsing it out, they saw more blue, so she was more relieved.  Then came the drying.  I sat down, and my hair fluttering in the air because of the hair dryer.  I could have sworn it was green.

Next thing I hear from her is, "...now it looks more green..."  She sounded very concerned.  Me?  I was so entertained!  I couldn't be mad at this goof-up.  Inside I was so giddy, quietly laughing away in my head.

When my mom came in to pick me up, the first thing I could say was, "MOM! MY HAIR IS GREEN!" =D  Yeah, I guess the hair dresser thought I was more freaked out, but my mom and I?  We just laughed.  We liked it. 

Turns out they could have done a better job though.  It's a bit blotchy.  By that, I mean, there are spots of the bleached hair showing that isn't green-ish blue.

Oh, well.  I don't mind walking around with this.  I can always change the colour or make it green-ish blue with what's left of this dye.  We'll see how I feel about the colour as time passes. =P

Anyway, that's all there is for this post.

See you around,
Dusk

Oh, my god, World!

Boyfriend has a blog, and this whole time he hasn't told me!

Well...it's been a while since he's used it, but he started using it again and he linked it to me.  Guess who's going to spend a whole whack of time reading EVERYTHING on it?  Yeah...me. =P 

If you guys want to check it out as well here's the link.

http://randomstickman.wordpress.com/

Yeah, the title of his blog isn't as...dark?...as mine.  That's probably a good thing.  He's a real sweet fellow.

Also, guess what?!?!  Tomorrow is our first anniversary! =D

I got him a little something, you could call it an anniversary gift, but I just call it a gift.  He's going to love it.

I can't wait to see him again. 

More posts to come.

See you in a bit,

Dusk

Hey everyone!!!

So, it's official, my hair will be blue as of Saturday afternoon!  I can't wait! x]

Now...I don't know what else to say...oh yeah! My little cousins will be over on the same day.  At first, I thought, when they see my blue hair, they'll be all O_o "what happened???"  But then, I remembered, they're still little, they'll probably be more fascinated by it, everyone else would have the previous reaction. =P

Anyway, that was all I really had to say.

I'll talk to you guys later, I have a midterm to study for.

Wish me luck!

Bye~

Dusk

Hi Everyone,

I figured you might like a little update on this guy.  So, remember how I mentioned that I asked my friend about this guy since I saw her as a mutual friend?  Yeah, it turns out that she doesn't really know this guy either.  She remembers talking to him on Facebook maybe like once or twice, but that was it.

Does that make me any less antsy?  Nope.

Also, he hasn't tried to add me yet, so whew. @_@

I know you were probably expecting this post to be a bit longer, but I didn't really have a whole lot to tell.  Well...now it's just a bit awkward since I hadn't actually thought of a way to end this post...so...I think I'll give you a picture of a rabbit looking cute.

Hey, Guys.

Sorry about the lack of posts lately, it's been crazy.  Last week I was really down in the dumps, when I got back up, I ended up with two tests and an essay to write...fun.

Came back home today, spent some time downtown with a friend since he goes to school there.  I thought I'd wait out his exam outside of the classroom and just study with the time that I had.  As I would know, being one to sit in the hallways all the time on my own, a bunch of people would pass me while I quietly worked away.

I was fine up until one guy walked passed me and did that strange clicking noise with his mouth that some guys do when they find a girl attractive.  I ignored it and kept at my studying.  He stopped and told me that there was a midterm going on inside the room I was waiting by.  I told him that I knew.  He assumed that I was in computer science, but nope.  English.  He walked away, and I returned to my Archaeology notes.

A few minutes later, I was still studying and he decided to reapproach me.  Yup.  So, we ended up having a bit of a dialogue.  Turns out, like me he was waiting for a friend, but not to come out of the midterm, out of the computer lab, I believe it was.  We talked about school and our backgrounds, this entire time without exchanging names.  I hoped it would stay like that.  But, alas, he came to realise and I was screwed.  I did just meet him, and sure, I guess the name isn't too bad.  I only gave him my first name, but later on I ended up telling my last name too and he asked me to search him up on Facebook.  To be honest, I hope he doesn't find me, because I don't really have a plan on adding him...

A while had passed and it had finally clicked in my slow brain that he was flirting with me!  Before and after I told him I have a boyfriend, he flirts with me!  Even moreso, he asked me if I was busy tonight, "tonight" being Friday night since I'm writing this at midnight, and asked if I wanted to go and have some fun.  This and the fact that he mentioned alcohol at some point screamed "STRANGER DANGER!"  I let him know in my own way that I couldn't.  What I really said was, "I...I don't actually live around here..." as I gestured out the window and in small circles with my hands...I must have looked strange...but, hey, I don't communicate well with people I don't know...

THANK GOD that not long after he asked me out, my friend had come out of his midterm.  I had been hoping he'd finish early throughout the conversation, partially because I had been interrupted in my plan to study for the two hours he would be in his exam and because nobody has ever flirted with me like that before...if anyone had, it wasn't serious flirting.  They were people I knew well and they would just be fooling around.  This was for real! 

So, I packed up as quickly as I could, hopefully, without making it obvious and left with my friend, while the boy told me "See you."

Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad that I wanted to just ditch this guy as quickly as I could, but at the same time, I didn't know what to do.  I've never dealt with that before.  It was strange.

I told my friend the story and he laughed.  He told me that when he saw me talking with this boy that he figured I would have already known him.  He knows that I'm generally pretty quiet and that I don't make friends that quickly.  He was a bit surprised actually that it had happened, as was I.  Again, no one has actually flirted with me like that. 

I searched him up on Facebook when I got home, but I didn't add him.  I wanted to know who I was dealing with.  It turns out that he knows one of my friends.  I'm not sure how well though.  So I sent her a message and am now waiting for a reply.

I am hopeless sometimes...

I actually do hope that I don't run into him again...partially because I wouldn't know what to do, partially because I don't want to worry my boyfriend, and partially because...I really wish I had given him a fake name.

Well...that's all for now, folks.

Until next time,

Dusk

Hey, Everyone!

So, today is Chinese New Years Eve and Mom's making a huge dinner tonight for the family.  My aunt and her family are going to be over for dinner and it's already been pretty crazy.

A couple of family friends came over this morning to wish us a happy new year.  They brought over some fried treats, and another brought over a cake....I haven't even seen the cake yet...we'll probably be eating it tonight.  It's really nice at home. 

Despite the fact that we're all busy running around cleaning and shopping for food, this weekend has been pretty relaxing to me.  I, honestly, have no idea why.  Maybe it's because I know that my family won't set fire to our food...or the house...

Oh, yeah!  For something completely off topic now, remember how I slipped on my way to class not long ago?  Well...the bump has gone down a bit, the bruise looks...bad...but I guess it's getting better.  Hurts whenever something touches it, though, which means I need to keep it away from Mom, then.  Whenever you have a bruise, you never tell my Mom.  She'll look at it and be all happy and poke at it and say, "does it hurt?" with the happiest childlike voice. 

Anyway, back on topic, you know how I have a bump and bruise from the fall?  Well, I went skating last night with my...half cousins?...I don't really know how this second cousin, half cousin thing works...any who, they're small and so, so adorable.  They were just learning to skate, and I was holding one by the sides like parents do and skating around with her.  She was wearing figure skates...we were doing fine for most of the time, that is, until her toe picks caught the ice and she, somehow, fell backwards while I went forwards.  Lucky for her she had 4 layers of padding.  She was laughing and got up.  I was stuck for a moment because I was afraid of crushing her when we fell, so I had to catch myself on my hands and knees...SO, of course, being as ridiculously injury prone as I am, I now have two bruises on my left knee and one on my right. 

Would you believe that my sister also has an injured left knee and my brother an injured right?  Yup.  They got those from basketball...we must be coordinated in injuring ourselves or something, this week proved to be quite crazy for the three of us.

Well, that's all I have time for, need to go help Mom in preparation for tonight and try to clean without hurting myself more.

I'll let you guys know how things go.  Also, in terms of my hair, still not blue...maybe next weekend....maybe.

Hope you all are well.

Keep it safe!

Gong hei fat choi!

Dusk

Okay, one more post for today, because I have class soon.  Anyway, it's been snowing like mad here.  It's like Mother Nature was having a rage!...or a party with fluffy things...which I kind of like better, but the wind made it feel a lot more like she was raging at us petty humans.
 
The grass is officially covered in snow, I am pleased.  There really hasn't been much snow here all winter, so it's actually been kind of depressing for me since it's winter and, as I do every year, I've been waiting for snow.  There were some days where I was extremely excited to see snow, but then it would go and rain the day after and melt it all away...I mean, like, really?!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!  Do you KNOW how many of us love the snow here and wait to play in it every year???

So, just to show you guys how it's been looking today, here are a couple of pictures from my window, ignore the vinegar bottle, I just have lack of space for keeping things.

I know I said that I would post this before class, but being the technological failure that I am, I spent a good amount of time trying to just get those picture from my phone onto the computer...

Side note, on the way to class, I totally slipped...I must have found a metal sheet or something and stepped on it, because I've been very careful about walking on those, but the snow covered EVERYTHING, so I couldn't see it at all.  EPIC FAILLLLL!!! I have a nice bump on my knee now.  But back to what we were talking about...the snow cleared up as time passed, it's still snowing out, but it's gone from seriously crazy to nice and sunny with snow flakes gently coming down...until you walk outside and they smack you in the face, that is.  But other than that, it is quite nice out.

A few more pictures to show you how nice it's gotten outside since earlier this afternoon.

 And one more to show you the nice winter night. =]

Well, that'll be all for today. 

You guys will see me again sometime in the near future, I'm sure. =]

Dusk